Da Evil Regime. (Since I'm from Chicago)

I knew they were evil!!

2009-04-26T19:36:00.001-05:00

When they started naming the gnomes, I predicted the exact name of one. Can you figure out which one?

News just in....

2009-02-12T20:03:00.003-06:00

Generalissimo Cheney is not dead! I repeat Generalissimo Cheney is still not dead!

Now back to your day that would have been nicer had you not found this out.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS WORLD NEEDS MORE OF?!?

2009-02-12T19:16:00.005-06:00

I'll drop a hint or two........

More!!!

You may have guessed it (or not) but the right answer was MORE COWBELL!!!

Psycho Neighbor

2009-01-17T12:06:00.008-06:00

For Christmas we got Rockband 2. Since we got it, I've enjoyed it a lot. I'm the percussionist most of the time and I love playing the craziest drum solos in it. I've modeled my guy after The Ramones, specifically Dee Dee.

Also, a little fact, when we created the band, we were trying to think of names and I came up with the name psycho neighbor. The reason is because there was this idiot who used to live next to my dads house, (until some guy bought it for a tear down and almost 2-3 years later is still yet to be sold) he used to be hated by almost everyone on the block, until he moved away, then we loved him. He was a total prick, he stole things, and he was just a plain moron. He goes by the name Danny or as the upstairs landlord calls him (and the only person on the block who didn't hate him who and also his partner in ~~stupidity~~ crime) Nit and Wit.

This is a funny commercial

2008-12-19T20:27:00.002-06:00

I've been seeing this on TV within the last few months. Just imagine that the politician guy is Blago......

New name

2008-12-17T16:18:00.001-06:00

I decided to change my new name to "The Dude."

All I wanted was a new rug....

Saw it comin...

2008-12-17T15:22:00.003-06:00

Roddy, was a disgrace. But, we know he is an Illinois gov. My dad waited on him at the restaurant called Juries, but the irony is that he will have to be waiting on a Jury soon. Obviously he did a lot of dumb things but if your going to try and sell a Senate seat, you probably should not be in any trouble prior to this.

Hope you and Ryan become great friends!

Hello again

2008-12-17T15:14:00.002-06:00

Hard to believe its been about a year since I've been to China. Anyways, lets move on.

The Cubs sadly died this year again, but I'm glad that Bush is out and Obama is in soon.

THIS WEEKS PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION IS.......

What is the best drum solo in history? I have thought long and hard trying to figure it out. For me, I cannot decide whether the solo from Inna Gada Da Vida or the solo from Frankenstein is better. What are your picks of best drum solo's?

hello

2008-10-13T17:02:00.001-05:00

So its been a little while since I posted......

I bet that no one is looking at this and if you are then thank you. I will hopefully start posting again.

My star trek character

2008-07-12T22:09:00.000-05:00

Your results:
You are Jean-Luc Picard

Jean-Luc Picard		70%
Data		61%
Worf		60%
Geordi LaForge		55%
Deanna Troi		55%
Spock		52%
Mr. Sulu		45%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		45%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		40%
Chekov		40%
Will Riker		40%
Beverly Crusher		30%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		25%
Uhura		20%
Mr. Scott		15%

A lover of Shakespeare and other
fine literature. You have a decisive mind
and a firm hand in dealing with others.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

Oh no. he's going to be mean to me!!!

2008-07-05T22:02:00.000-05:00

Here is a good question.

2008-06-28T08:26:00.002-05:00

Why do we have American troops in Iraq when we could bring them home and send Dick Cheney there. I hear he is pretty good with a shotgun. And if he isn't good enough with his shotgun, then we won't care.

Sorry I haven't been on in a while people

2008-06-20T15:54:00.002-05:00

I had 8th grade graduation and took kind of a long break from blogging. Hopefully I will resume my schedule again.

DR. EVIL 08!!!

Running against PEACE, PROSPERITY, and INCUMBENCY.

Like I didn't see this coming............

2008-05-15T14:45:00.002-05:00

To avoid plagerism, I got this from Msnbc
Edwards To Endorse Obama

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May 14, 2008 5:04 PM

ABC News' Kate Snow, Raelyn Johnson, Sunlen Miller, and Rick Klein Report: Former Sen. John Edwards is endorsing Sen. Barack Obama's presidential candidacy Wednesday evening, in a dramatic attempt by the Obama campaign to answer concerns regarding Obama's appeal to working-class voters, several senior Democratic sources tell ABC News.

The Obama campaign confirms Edwards will endorse Obama at a campaign rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan Wednesday. The event was originally scheduled to start at 7pmET, but was moved up to 6:20pmET, presumably to have the announcement make the evening news.

Edwards, who ran for president on a platform of eradicating poverty, plans to appear alongside Obama for the announcement. The event comes one day after Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton defeated Obama by 41 points in the West Virginia primary, and Edwards' endorsement will give Obama a key establishment stamp of approval as he attempts to close out the nominating process.

Edwards and his wife, Elizabeth, have remained studiously neutral since the Edwards campaign came to a close Jan. 30. Edwards on Sunday called Obama "the likely nominee," but made clear that his statement reflected a judgment about the state of the race, not necessarily a personal preference.

The possibility of an Edwards endorsement has been the subject of intense speculation for months; only former vice president Al Gore's endorsement was more coveted by Obama and Clinton. Edwards and his wife had publicly praised Clinton's healthcare plan, but Edwards' anti-corporate message seemed a better fit for Obama's outsider campaign.

Campaign Chairman Terry McAuliffe responded to the endorsement this evening both during a quick press availability outside of the Senator's residence, and in a paper statement.

“We respect John Edwards," McAuliffe said, "but as the voters of West Virginia showed last night, this thing is far from over.”

A source close to the Clinton campaign said the Edwards camp gave the Clinton folks a heads up.

"Clearly it's upsetting," the source tells ABC. "He brings the workers" to Obama.

"Well I don't think it's good news, but there's a lot of news in this business and we move forward and move past it. It's not great news," a Clinton senior advisor said.

Asked what effect the Edwards endorsement might have, he said: "We don't know. We'll see. We'll see how much of it is transferable," referring to Edwards' popularity with white working class voters.

"We would've preferred it," to be our endorsement the advisor said. That's not a secret.

Clinton met today with six uncommitted superdelegates at the DCCC offices on Capitol Hill.

This advisor said the Clinton campaign believes superdelegates are concerned about Obama's loss in West Virginia last night and other swing states.

"No question -- that started with Ohio and increased with Pennsylvania, Indiana and West Virginia," he said. "All I can say is, I don't want to overdramatize it, but starting with Ohio the remaining superdelegates started really focusing on the 270 electoral vote issue and how do we best assemble that and it's made a marked impression."

But then in a moment of candor the advisor conceded, "I'm not sure it's gonna be enough."

This is a funny vid I saw on youtube today

2008-05-05T20:58:00.002-05:00

Its called the empire strikes Barack. Staring Barack, Darth Hillary, Emperor Bill and others.

My new blog rating

2008-04-15T16:08:00.001-05:00

This is what makes my blog is rated what it is....

dick (8x) turd (5x) corpse (3x) steal (1x)

Just a wild guess

2008-04-08T21:09:00.003-05:00

I seem to notice that I have at least one vote for everything but President Dr. Evil. Just as a guess, I'm thinking that it really should be Mr. Mission Accomplished's name. Do I hear the people right? I mean left.

How to save SNL among all you old timers

2008-04-08T21:04:00.001-05:00

Since the Franco skit has been long gone I figured out that to get you guys to watch SNL again, you need another dictator to die. Because of Castro resigning a few months after a certain post I had about him, I figured out that I could try and save SNL using this blog and Fidel. By doing this........

CASTRO IS STILL ALIVE!!!

Give it two or three months and hopefully you will understand what I'm trying to do.

Why the name change Doc?

2008-04-07T21:54:00.003-05:00

With the survey, I have so far found out that the majority wants me to be Prime Minister Dr. Evil, so thats what I'm going for. This will be the only time you can get what you want. So boo hoo to you people who didn't vote.....

More on what I shall do as president

2008-03-31T04:09:00.002-05:00

Fidel Castro shall be sold a government job.

I will fight that new thing that is spreading the world.............. (Grant) Millerism

I will make sure Franco is still dead.

I will make The Onion and The National Enquirer are the national newspapers and make sure that their government controlled.

And I shall ban any right-wing politics, but will move the O'Reilly Factor to Comedy Central just for kicks.

EVIL/Small 08!!!

If you support us, we won't support you.

Dr. Evil makes a miraculous comeback!!!

2008-03-29T19:23:00.002-05:00

Today, around three thirty PM central time, Dr. Evil made a miraculous comeback in Risk. As Johnny Yen was dominating, Dr. Evil got a bonus and managed to cripple his main forces. It started out with me only having all of South America and a few other countries. Using my 3 minimum armies, 2 South American bonus armies, and my 15 card bonus armies, I was able to fortify South America from invasion from Central America while taking and holding Africa and eliminating my step-sister in the process and getting her cards. Besides taking Africa, I made sure that he wouldn't get any bonuses for Asia or Europe, although he got the Australian bonus. By that time he had to head off for work so my step-sister took his place and by then she couldn't do much. She got a few countries but because I had her cards from when I had previously eliminated her, I had another extra 15 army bonus with the African, and South American bonus plus having 21 countries I got 7 armies. By then, I took most (but not all) of Asia. By then she had only a few countries left giving her the 3 army minimum, thus not getting far. Then I won by taking Aussie and North America.

What was actually amazing was that Yen had so much of the world that I joked that it would be funny if I won. My step-sister had only 4 countries and I had only about 5 and I made a very miraculous come back.

As the ending message....

"I PITTY THE FOOL!!!"
-As famously said by Mr. T

Its official!!!

2008-03-29T15:54:00.002-05:00

Dr. Evil and Dick Small have joined alliances. Dick Small is now Dr. Evil's running mate!!!

Evil/Small 08!!!

Sorry for not posting in a while

2008-03-29T11:27:00.002-05:00

Dr. Evil has been busy this month. My mom has just closed on a house and we're moving in around the middle of April. Dr. Evil found out what high school he is going to. Plus Dr. Evil is waiting for a new president.

I seem to be going back and forth on running mates, but I will ask Dick Small if he wants to be my running mate. Tell me what you think.

EVIL/SMALL 08!!!

Here it is

2008-03-13T15:24:00.001-05:00

This is the 3am attack. Enjoy.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein wins Texas by 1 percent and 3 am attack ad!!!

2008-03-12T16:15:00.001-05:00

Pundit: Because Dr. Evil was running such a great campaign, Dr. Monkerstein was desperate to win some states. The way he won is by running some scare tactic attack ads on who to trust during a 3 am crisis. But, who would you trust during a 3 am crisis? Dr. evil or Dr. Monkerstein?

5 reasons Obama should get the democratic nomination

2008-03-02T15:29:00.005-06:00

1. Hillary would have a harder time in a situation of having to compromise. Obama was a state legislator which seems to have helped him.

2. If anyone can fool everyone at the same time it would be Obama, he has speeches that are amazing and believable.

3. His goals are pretty realistic especially compared to Clinton.

4. He has brought so much interest back into politics that was once diminishing.

5. His healthcare plan is better than Clinton's. And wasn't one who supported this costly war.

How you know a movie is good

2008-03-01T09:28:00.002-06:00

The best and most accurate way to know that a movie is usually good is if Richard Roeper hates it.

This is the trailer for a movie I want to see. Be Kind Rewind.

Are we there yet?

2008-02-17T13:58:00.003-06:00

When will the Cubs win the world series?

2008-02-16T22:38:00.003-06:00

I have a feeling that when the Cubs win the world series is when Keith Richards will die. And his death will not be from age but from the Cubs actually winning. Anyone have theories on either how Keith Richards will die or how the Cubs can win the world series?

Didn't work out either?

2008-02-11T09:13:00.000-06:00

Didn't quite work out for you and all the others did it?

Obviously your endorsements by the far far right didn't help. Now people like the Coultergeist, Rush, and Bill O'reilly are mad about you dropping out. I have to say this to you Mitt. THANK YOU!!!

These right wing pundits compared you to Reagan and you lost. I guess Reagan sucks after all.

Some jokes

2008-02-03T13:46:00.000-06:00

Now note that I made up all but the second joke.

Q: Why did Alberto Gonzales cross the road?
A:I don't remeber.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: Why did Ozzy cross the road?
A: To bite the chickens head off.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A: To touch the chicken.

FUN FACTS: While reading imagine that its David Letterman reading it on his show.

Now that Sylvestor Stallone "finished" all trillion Rocky and Rambo movies, he is going to make five sequels to the Christmas classic, Miracle on 34th street. The first sequel will be Miracle on 35th street, all the way till 40th street.

The Giants are going to beat the Patriots by 1 or 2 points.

Dr. Evil's dad and Keith Richards probably take the same "drugs" which might be Omega 3 pills.

Grant Miller and Dr. Evil are in a cold blog war .

In the year 3792, Rocky 1000 will be in theaters.

Your birthday is on a day that will end in a Y.

Dr. Evil is holding the world ransom for 1 million Hong Kong dollars.

The U.S dollar to the Hong Kong dollar is about 7 to 1.

I forgot these ones

2008-02-02T12:09:00.000-06:00

How to run a dictatorship

2008-02-02T09:21:00.000-06:00

1. Get elected.

2. Ban stupidity.

3. Ban republicans.

4. Make allies with Cuba.

5. Sell Dr. Zaius and Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein government jobs.

6. Ban the O'Reilly factor

7. Ban sub-prime loans.

8. Don't invade other countries.

9. When I die, let Bill Clinton be the dictator.

Some more news

2008-02-02T08:15:00.000-06:00

Zaius brought up a good point that we should have dug him out to see if he was really dead. Well I've got good news.

FRANCO IS STILL DEAD!!!

Why?

2008-02-02T01:45:00.000-06:00

Why did there have to be an Alvin and the Chipmunks movie? Look at what they've done to perfectly good songs.

First is TNT

Then we got smells like Teen spirit

Iron man

Smoke on the water

I think Stairway goes a little far.

But to do the whole Dark Side album is insane.

Janie's got a gun

Dream On

Blitzkrieg bop

I found the Sex pistols but it wasn't God Save The Queen though.

I even found The Clash

And we also have REM and the end of the world

La Grange

Back in Black

And war pigs

This is great

2008-02-02T01:31:00.000-06:00

This is Mc Rove. Scary.

Rudy's big adventure

2008-02-01T20:22:00.000-06:00

So Rudy, I see your stupid tactic didn't work. You ever heard that a little can add up to be a lot?

And how are you Fred?

Didn't work out as you thought?

Some bad news

2008-01-23T08:48:00.000-06:00

CASTRO IS STILL ALIVE!!!

Here is some news

2008-01-22T16:00:00.000-06:00

FRANCO IS STILL DEAD!!!

How Liberal are you?

2008-01-20T18:23:00.000-06:00

I stole this test from Dick Small's blog. Here are my results.

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Bill O'Reilly reporting on the Election 2008

2008-01-20T00:28:00.000-06:00

Bill O'Reilly: "As the 2008 election is heating up, lets take a look at ALL the candidates, notice how I say ALL the candidates."

"Tonight, being the pundit I am, we will talk to one special candidate that will win the 2008 election. His name is Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein.
Now Dr. Monkerstein, why should the American public vote for you?"

Monkerstein: "Well. For one, my running mate is Joe Lieberman. That's right. The one who supports your tax dollars getting flushed down the toilet."

Bill O'Reilly: "Wow, that is a great reason. Lets get Joe to join in on the conversation."

Joe Lieberman: "Hi Bill, hi Monkey."

Bill O'Reilly: "So Joe, are you and Monkey going to raise taxes for those "poor/middle class" people, and give us greedy undeserving, rich people tax breaks that are unnecessary tax breaks ?"

Joe Lieberman: "Of Course! Monkey Love is going to put Reagan to shame."

Bill O'Reilly: "Well, you got my endorsement. Remember, my little brainwashed audience. On that day, vote for these two guys by punching in #2 and making sure your ballot does not have even one butterfly!!!"

I have a request

2008-01-06T02:02:00.000-06:00

Dr. Evil is having a contest to see who could be the very first guest blogger. All you have to do is leave a comment and say that you would like to be a guest. Then I will decide. All you would have to do is post one or two days a week on a week day. And if you send me a dollar you will make $1000 a week folding envelopes.

This is great

2008-01-05T20:02:00.000-06:00

http://www.jibjab.com/originals/second_term

When Bush won the last election in 2004, this video came out on Jibjab.com. I like this video, if you look at the begining,Colin Powell gets yanked off the stage. Now, most of those people would be off. Enjoy.

Extra Extra

2008-01-05T12:03:00.000-06:00

Kid selling newspaper: "EXTRA EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT!!! DR. MONKEY VON MONKERSTEIN IS ENDORSED BY BILL O'REILLY AND RUSH LIMBAUGH!!!

Monkey Love is totally right wing

2008-01-04T23:10:00.000-06:00

Now, Monkey Love 08 is gaining popularity, but they are totally brainwashing you. You think they are good but Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein's running mate, Joe Lieberman is endorsing John McCain for the 08 election. This message has been brought to you by Dr. Evil and Dan Rather. This is why you should vote Dr. Evil in 2008. By giving me your "vote" in 2008, you can join the evil family.

Remember

DR. EVIL 08'!!!

Ok, Ok

2008-01-04T19:20:00.000-06:00

Dr. Evil has decided not to retire. This almost reminds me of Doonesbury. In one of the comics, Uncle Duke is with his assistant in China while he's the ambassador and she said, "Last week chairman Mao said he wanted to tear down the Great Wall because it represents the old times. So I told him I would have it torn down immediately, then two days later, he said he wanted it back up again and I told him that I had personally directed the rebuilding of the Wall, and he thinks I'm a genius."
Uncle Duke said, "In some ways you are."

But anyway... I guess that the regime change must go on.

I forgot to mention my Christmas. Well, it was OK on Christmas day but I ended up staying at my grandma's house for the night. At midnight I played Risk with three other cousins. We figured that it would end at two or three in the morning, but it went a little longer than we expected. My first cousin and I were the first ones to go, at about five in the morning. Then we went to go get coffee, donuts, and other breakfast "stuff". By the time we got back, it was seven thirty and the my two other cousins were still playing. At about nine in the morning, they finished.

Surprisingly, this was a great Christmas, but a nine hour game of Risk is crazy......

Farewell

2007-12-31T10:51:00.000-06:00

Today, December 31, 2007, I, Dr. Evil officially announce the retirement of my blog. Although I am retiring, I will still continue to read all of your blogs.

Dr. Evil

Compare

2007-12-24T18:56:00.000-06:00

Lets compare Led Zeppelin's version of Whole Lotta Love to the Temple City Kazoo Orchestra's Version.

This reminds me of last year, when my Uncle gave everyone a Kazoo to sing Happy Birthday to my grandma.

My blog is great

2007-12-24T18:24:00.000-06:00

I looked up how much my blog is worth from some other bloggers link list and found out that my blog is worth $9597.18 and I looked up other peoples blogs too. My blog is not worth as much as Monkerstein's blog taking the gold medal of $89,197.32. Silver medal was Dale and his was worth $32,743.32. And bronze was Grant Miller's and his was worth $25,404.30.

Merry Christmas and don't forget....

DR. EVIL 08!!!

This is awesome

2007-12-22T21:03:00.000-06:00

This is the best commercial ever. Screw the lizard dude.

And to mention one more thing

2007-12-22T08:17:00.000-06:00

I forgot, for all of you FOX haters, you should watch the movie Outfoxed. Even though it is a very serious movie there are some hilarious parts. Like in one part, Bill O'Reilly claims he has never told anyone to shut up, but then they play a clip and the guest he had on was against invading Afghanistan and he was naming every good reason not to such as the fact that we were the idiots who provided the Taliban every weapon they had. After about a minute Bill tries to use his flat out lying propaganda and names some stupid reasons to invade but the guy stuck to his reasons, and then Bill O'Reilly just starts screaming, "Shut Up!!!"

Also he started attacking him calling him dumb for "not knowing what was going on." It gets better, this was showed on TV and made him look like a bigger moron than he already was. Either Fox has the stupidest idiots, or this is a real life sitcom, I'll guess the first one.

My rating

2007-12-22T08:13:00.000-06:00

The only "bad" word I have used was turd.

Evil in the air

2007-12-22T01:14:00.000-06:00

I have proof that I am more evil than the Evil Genius. On Grant Miller's blog I posted, "How history will absolve me", by Fidel Castro. On paper his speech was 38 pages long.

Did you know? 2

2007-12-21T23:36:00.000-06:00

China is being criticized because Led Zeppelin's music contains lots of led...

George Bush has lied before...

Grant Miller created "Did you know" original...

I am a Grant Miller critic...

Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the bat mobile lost a wheel and the joker ran away...

Jesus's birthday was on Christmas....

Richard Nixon is not a crook...

There are AT-AT's on my front lawn...

Interesting birthdays

2007-12-21T19:41:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I was looking at my almanac from last year and I found a list of famous people with their birthdays. Here some things that I found…

For one, I think I figured out why Bill O’Reilly is such a turd, his birthday is on Sept. 10th.

Johnny Yen is so great because he shares Bono’s birthday, May 10th.

The worst birthdays to have

Feb. 6, Ronald Reagan’s birthday
Feb. 29, some unlucky person
June 18, Paul McCartney
July 3, Tom Cruise
July 6, George “Dubya” Bush
August 29, John McCain
September 10, Bill O’Reilly
November 25, George “Dubya’s” daughters

The best birthdays to have

Jan. 9, Dave Matthews
Jan. 15 Mlk Jr.
Feb. 24, Steve Jobs
March 2, Dr. Seuss
In between March 2nd and 14th is my birthday
March 14, Albert Einstein
This one is for Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein, March 22, Reese Witherspoon
April 13, Thomas Jefferson
May 10, Bono
May 13, Stevie Wonder
May 20, Stan Mikita
May 21, Al Franken
May 25, Mike Myers
May 29, JFK
July 16, Will Farrell
August 6, Andy Warhol
August 13, Alfred Hitchcock
August 19, Bill Clinton
August 21, Stephen Hillenburg, he created Spongebob
August 25, Tim Burton
August 28, Jack Black
Sept. 1, Dr. Phil
Sept. 13, Ronald Dahl
Sept. 23, Ray Charles
October 2, Gandhi
October 28, Bill Gates

Seriously?

2007-12-19T16:38:00.000-06:00

Today, the little kids sang at the assembly. They sang, "We wish you a happy holiday, we wish you a happy hoilday and a happy new year." Seriously? They took out the word, Christmas. If it is offensive, then pich another song!

Also, the whole political correctness has gone too far if it is considered offensive to say someone is sitting "Indian" style. Sometimes, I think people a are little crazier than I thought.

If we had treated the Native Americans in a humane way, maybe that would have been better.

Remember, DR. EVIL 08!!!

Stupid things

2007-12-08T08:20:00.000-06:00

Here are two of the worlds stupidest controversies

Santa's ho ho hoing is politically incorrect.

The original Sesame street is bad for children because he smokes a pipe.

Prank calls from Grant Miller

2007-12-07T22:52:00.000-06:00

As you know I put my cell number on my blog, Grant decided to be a wise guy and after posting the comment, "Can I prank call you?" He actually did call me. Here is the conversation....

Dr. Evil: Hello

Grant Miller: Is your toilet running?

Dr. Evil: No, but your nose is.

Then I hung up.

This will never be forgotten.

2007-12-07T18:55:00.000-06:00

I remember when I was about 9, I wasn't even into Black Sabbath yet, but I had this weird feeling that I would not forget this event in my life. On TV they had said that Ozzy would be singing take me out to the ball game about a month ahead of time. Now the reason I knew I would never forget this moment was because I always wondered, why anyone would be called Ozzy Osbourne? History was made on that day, sadly this was the only one I found on you tube, but you can tell that he didn't know how to sing it. And here's our feature presentation today I hope you enjoy it....

I also forgot

2007-12-03T16:06:00.000-06:00

I forgot to mention, when I was on the bus to go to to the Hong Kong airport to come back to America, one of the guys looked exactly like the Evil Genius. If you look at older posts, this guy actually dressed exactly like him and I thought the evil genius was stalking me. If I could have gotten a picture of him I would have. He had the same jacket and every thing.

Ok, here is a solution

2007-12-03T15:14:00.000-06:00

Since I haven't been able to post for a whole week, due to lack of an internet source, heres a solution... You could call me on my cell phone 773-202-5862. You can call me from 3 p.m. central time to 4:30 on week days. On weekends you can call me from noon to 4. Go ahead try it.

In other news today,

Have you ever seen stickers on vans or buses that say, How's my driving? What if they changed it for people with a drunk history record they could say, How's my drunk driving? That might make traffic flow a little faster.

Also last weekend, my mom and I went shopping at the grocery store. (Usually we go on weeknights.)
It took so long because the store was filled with old people. Its not that I hate l hate old people, but they tend to stop in the middle of the Aisle exactly where your trying to get through. And then when you say "excuse me", they grunt at you like there is enough room to go through.

I'm back.....

2007-11-27T16:33:00.000-06:00

Now that I am back from China, I have some stories to share.

1. 14 hours on an airplane will make you insane.

2. My cousin bought me this toy airplane in Beijing made with fake bullets. While trying to come back to America they confiscated it. There were cops with machine guns with them inspecting the plane.

3. Everything is cheap. I bought 12 key chains with the Olympic mascots on them for one dollar.

4. Next year, after the Olympics, instead of getting a gold medal, the first place winners with get a huge jade medal.

5. Also I found out that this was Mao's favorite dish. BBQ pork with tofu. It may look weird but it tastes good.

6. One of the most popular drinks in China contains 56% alcohol, enough for a life sentence of hangovers. Our tour guide poured some into an empty ash tray and lit it. It was about an ounce of liquid but it burned for about four minutes.

7. Also on this trip, I traveled 35 and a half hours on an airplane.

Hopefully Dr. Evil can resume posting, sorry about this inconvenience this may have cause you.

Remember....

DR. EVIL 08'!!!

I have a plan

2007-11-10T23:01:00.000-06:00

Ze evil question

2007-11-10T00:21:00.000-06:00

Everyone thinks that the Evil Genius is more evil than I, Dr. Evil but it is not true.
Since the Iron Curtain has finally rusted, I've decided that I will a stainless steel curtain. I can beat almost anyone at Risk and I can be more evil than the evil genius. I've got dirt on every blogger that attended the blogger summit a while back. Remember, if George Dubya Bush isn't the Apocalypse, I am.

And lastly. Don't forget, I own Blackwater....

Sorry for not posting in a while, again

2007-11-09T17:59:00.000-06:00

My lap top is broken so I haven't been able to post at my moms house, so right now I'm at Mr. Yen's house on the computer posting. Also, a note, I am leaving to China next thursday and will be gone for ten days for diplomatic reasons. So right now I have decided that the Idea of Progress shall take over America during this time. Any way.......

Kristi- I see that you said your not Joe Liberman, but because I haven't met you, you mine as well be Joe Liberman playing hockey.

In other news today.....

If elected president, Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein will empty out Fort Knox and put the worlds stash of Crunky's in there so only he and his buddies, Mitt Romney and Joe Lieberman can hoard them. Doesn't he seem like a republican?

Also, he will invade every country in the world, for the draft, you have to go hunting with Dick Cheney. If you survive, then you will be sent to war.

Some major problems I have him is, he's pro-stupidity. I am, of course, pro-intelligence.

Also he is a neoconservative. He will support Wal-Mart, oil companies such as Haliburton, will give tax breaks to the rich and steal from the poor an middle-class.

This message has been brought to you by...

DR. EVIL 08'!!!!!!

Check it out

2007-11-05T16:31:00.000-06:00

This weeks great Onion article is something that most morons don't know..... In a study, it was found that working at work improves productivity. Interesting isn't it?

Breaking news!!!

2007-11-04T06:23:00.000-06:00

Kid sellig newspapers-"Extra extra!!! Read all about it!!!"
"Monkerstein supports another, No child left behind act!!!"

Its me again, Dr. Evil. Now that I'm in Dr. Zaius's race, lets talk about the top 10 things that would be wrong with Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein if he were "president"...

10. He will still keep humans and monkeys segregated.

9. He will hire Rush Limbaugh as his "advisor".

8. If you don't wear a fez in public you will be sent to prison for 10 years.

7. The whole nation will be required to read the New York Post and watch Fox news instead of working 8 hours a day.

6. He will spread Illinios politics throughout the nation.

5. Mitt Romney will be his best friend.

4. He will ban "The Onion".

3. He will execute Fidel Castro.

2. He would make president Bush look like FDR. That's scary.

1. And lastly...... Joe Liberman will be his vice- president.

The race

2007-11-03T11:09:00.000-05:00

I'm officially in Dr. Zaius's race. Evil for 08'!!!

One hour left

2007-11-01T14:52:00.000-05:00

Dan Rather: Only an hour left to vote. So far Dr. Zaius will be knocked out of the race. Your stupid neighbor, Dr. MVM, and Dr. Evil are tied.

Wait........ Hold on. It's so close that the courts will decide the winner.

Dr. Evil with the judges: Whisper whisper.... You'll get a raise if you say I'm the winner....... Whisper whisper...... Blah blah blah, whisper whisper...........

Judges with decision: Ok folks. Even though it was a tie we decide that Dr. Evil wins the election!!!

New Fascist symbols

2007-11-01T06:38:00.000-05:00

As an evil dictator, I say today Nov 1st through Nov 10th is, write like Evil Spock on your blog month.

Also I declare that you have to where a fez like Bubs or Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein whenever you write on your blog.

For doing this you will be "Patriotic." And those refusing to be "Patriotic" will face prison time in the same asylum cell with Grant Miller and endure his craziness.

Just wondering

2007-11-01T06:13:00.000-05:00

When I was about four, I remember asking The Elk what his favorite band was and I didn't get who would name their band the who. Sometimes I still wonder why people come up with weird, and interesting band names such as, The Smashing Pumpkins, Green Day, and Breaking Benjamin. wouldn't that interesting to find out? The Smashing Pumpkins probably thought that was just a cool name. Maybe Green Day likes Al Gore. And maybe Benjamin was, "Made in China" and broke when he came to America. Couldn't they just fix Benjamin? They could be called fixing Benjamin, Never Will Be A Green Day, and The Smashed Pumkins.

The trial

2007-10-27T08:58:00.000-05:00

As of tomorrow, Grant Miller will be put on trial. We are currently looking for a jury. We need 12 volunteers. All twelve have to know all the current laws of Dr. Evil. Fortunately for people that like Grant, he can't get a life sentence. For Immaturity reasons, he will be tried as an adolescent. Grant Miller is being tried for not handing over the media to me, Dr. Evil.

My halloween costume

2007-10-26T19:03:00.000-05:00

Ok folks. I've decided to be even more evil for Halloween. Here is my costume.

Also I'm going to have a fake shotgun to scare people.

Oh... Wait, am I scaring you now?

By the way, this was so worth the fifteen dollars.

So far so good

2007-10-25T16:11:00.001-05:00

Today Dr. Evil did his science project presentation, happily I made alive. I'm sure my science teacher was amazed. Sorry for not posting in a while either. Also I have to thank the smartass classmates of mine for asking questions that showed the teacher how much research I put into it.

Second, third, and fourth laws of Dr. Evil

2007-10-19T20:53:00.000-05:00

The second law of Dr. Evil gives you the right to own bear arms. The bear arms can be used in funny pranks, the superbowl, and to make Packers fans unhappy.

The third law of Dr. Evil says you have thr make a house of soliders. We recommend those green army soliders.

The fourth law of Dr. Evil says in all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to an unfair and fascist trial.

The Truth

2007-10-17T21:06:00.000-05:00

My favorite news source isn't joking with their headlines any more. The Onions headline reads "Poll:Bullshit is most important issue for 2008 voters."

Since when does the Onion actually start printing the truth?

Tagged, by Bubs

2007-10-16T18:08:00.000-05:00

Seven facts you didn't know about me

1. I collect cions. I have about five ounces of silver. I'm going to save about $800 for a gold coin, which weighs about an ounce.

2. If I can't be a pilot or politician, I want to either take over the Late Show when Letterman retires or start my own funny show, I don't know how I could do this though.

3. If I really were dictator I would make Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein second in command. He would do my dirty work, and then when I die he will become the first monkey leader. One giant step for monkey kind.

4. I'm realated to the outlaw Sam Bass.

5. I live on Earth.

6. I like science, but hate the science fair and bibliographies.

7. I am liberal.

Dictator beaten

2007-10-14T11:18:00.001-05:00

For the first time in three years of playing, Johnny Yen has beaten me in a game of Risk.

Elk, remember I can still beat you in Risk.

Note to the people: I have "dominated" the world many times in Risk. I've played maybe 25 games with Johnny and other people and I didn't "dominate" the world five times. Johnny has beaten me only three times.

Record
25W 5L

Must Dominate, must Dominate, must.................

What are you?

2007-10-13T23:51:00.000-05:00

Which dictator are you most like? Take the quiz. It said I am like Stalin. Also I would be a ruthless dictator. The link is above the survey.

Al Gore's Day

2007-10-13T15:46:00.000-05:00

This is Al Gore's day today.
I have an Uncle thats right wing, is in denial about the Iran Contra scandal etc. He talks about being concerned with the environment but makes fun of Al Gore. He tells me that the right wants honesty, but if you talk to him about the 2000 election and the BS that went on he said that Bush is a better president than what Al Gore would ever be, but, what about your "honesty"? Al Gore is concerned enough about the environment especially compared to our nimrod president, but he doesn't like Al Gore because he is more liberal than George W. It goes to show how naive the Republicans are.

Do you get the idea?

2007-10-12T17:17:00.000-05:00

As you might have guessed, this is The Idea of Progress, and he wants YOU!!!

Our buddy, The Evil Genius

2007-10-12T17:11:00.000-05:00

This man is none other than our Evil Genius. This is what he gives me, this is what he gets.

A Great Picture of everyone's best friend, Bubs

2007-10-12T17:04:00.000-05:00

This is what you get for not taking two seconds to smile at the camera Bubs.

A look into the life of Grant Miller

2007-10-12T16:47:00.000-05:00

Here it is, what you've been waiting for...... The one and only Grant Miller posing for the paparazzi.
Tell me what you think of these pictures. Oh by the way he chose not to go to rehab.

First law of Dr. Evil

2007-10-10T19:32:00.001-05:00

The first law of Dr. Evil is Habeas Corpse. Any person under arrest is to be brought before a corpse of Judges and Juries. In Latin it would literally mean, "You shall have a dead body (in the court)." Also our Supreme Court will be made up of nine Injustices, including one Chief Injustice, in other words, we will keep the same Injustices in office presently.

Victory strategy

2007-10-09T19:38:00.000-05:00

As you can tell, I have no plan of action against Grant. So I am going to claim he has weapons of blog destruction, and then we "hunt" him down. Then we claim to liberate "the people". Sound like a game plan?

Fun facts

2007-10-09T00:16:00.000-05:00

Johnny Yen isn't worth a million in prizes.

Grant Miller is mentally insane.

Chicken Little's least favorite season is Fall.

Al Gore will make a sequel to his movie except it will be called "A Convenient Truth" .

The Patriot Act is Patriotic, not.

1+1=11.

There is a Starbucks on every corner of the world, except when you want to go there.

I really seriously do a good Dr. Evil impression.

Johnny Yen is my long lost dad.

He has had three wives, not at the same time though.

He has two brothers, when you combine how many times all three of them have been married, the sum is seven. Two for Uncle D and Uncle K each. Then three for Mr. Yen. Ta-da, 7 wives total.

Books that should be written

2007-10-09T00:04:00.000-05:00

Some books that I should write:

How to be a dummy for dummies

How to read for dummies

How to be smart for dummies

how to win a gold medal in the Olympics without steroids for dummies

How to pronounce the word "a" for dummies

And the picture above is a good one for Mr Yen

Have You Seen This Man?

2007-10-08T21:57:00.001-05:00

If so, please call this number on your screen.

911

He is wanted for escaping a mental institution. Also is a criminal for not suppoting us. Remember, if your not with us, your against us.

This message is supported by the following groups:

Down with Grant Miller Media Inc.
Me
Spread Communism Inc.
Antifreedom Association (AFA)

We are having some technical difficulties with our picture so if you would kindly click on the link. Thank You.

It is official

2007-10-08T20:39:00.000-05:00

I declare blog war on Grant Miller Media. By next week I should have some photos of Grant, while I was doing some espionage work at Feed The Beast. As we all know Grant escaped rehab with his lady, Britney Spears.

lets talk buisness

2007-10-07T20:15:00.000-05:00

any one want an interview by me leave a comment

someone is going to pay

2007-10-06T22:32:00.000-05:00

I thought I made myself clear when I offered the diamond backs one million dollars to let the cubs win the world series. Sigh wait till next year.

Do you know?

2007-10-01T19:30:00.000-05:00

If any republican wins the election, I will die. Thats all folks

My Plans

2007-09-30T15:07:00.000-05:00

I have imaginary nuclear weapons, if you do not give me one million dollars and let me be dictator for life.
Sorry I mean one billion dollars.

public announcement by the Dr. evil

2007-09-30T00:23:00.000-05:00

This is a public message to the people of the world, I WILL SOON BE YOUR DICTATOR AS DICTATOR STUPIDITY WILL BE BANNED!!! I can tell you will already love me as your soon to be dictator.