Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I'm back.....

Now that I am back from China, I have some stories to share.

1. 14 hours on an airplane will make you insane.

2. My cousin bought me this toy airplane in Beijing made with fake bullets. While trying to come back to America they confiscated it. There were cops with machine guns with them inspecting the plane.

3. Everything is cheap. I bought 12 key chains with the Olympic mascots on them for one dollar.

4. Next year, after the Olympics, instead of getting a gold medal, the first place winners with get a huge jade medal.

5. Also I found out that this was Mao's favorite dish. BBQ pork with tofu. It may look weird but it tastes good.

6. One of the most popular drinks in China contains 56% alcohol, enough for a life sentence of hangovers. Our tour guide poured some into an empty ash tray and lit it. It was about an ounce of liquid but it burned for about four minutes.

7. Also on this trip, I traveled 35 and a half hours on an airplane.

Hopefully Dr. Evil can resume posting, sorry about this inconvenience this may have cause you.


DR. EVIL 08'!!!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

I have a plan

Ze evil question

Everyone thinks that the Evil Genius is more evil than I, Dr. Evil but it is not true.
Since the Iron Curtain has finally rusted, I've decided that I will a stainless steel curtain. I can beat almost anyone at Risk and I can be more evil than the evil genius. I've got dirt on every blogger that attended the blogger summit a while back. Remember, if George Dubya Bush isn't the Apocalypse, I am.

And lastly. Don't forget, I own Blackwater....

Friday, November 9, 2007

Sorry for not posting in a while, again

My lap top is broken so I haven't been able to post at my moms house, so right now I'm at Mr. Yen's house on the computer posting. Also, a note, I am leaving to China next thursday and will be gone for ten days for diplomatic reasons. So right now I have decided that the Idea of Progress shall take over America during this time. Any way.......

Kristi- I see that you said your not Joe Liberman, but because I haven't met you, you mine as well be Joe Liberman playing hockey.

In other news today.....

If elected president, Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein will empty out Fort Knox and put the worlds stash of Crunky's in there so only he and his buddies, Mitt Romney and Joe Lieberman can hoard them. Doesn't he seem like a republican?

Also, he will invade every country in the world, for the draft, you have to go hunting with Dick Cheney. If you survive, then you will be sent to war.

Some major problems I have him is, he's pro-stupidity. I am, of course, pro-intelligence.

Also he is a neoconservative. He will support Wal-Mart, oil companies such as Haliburton, will give tax breaks to the rich and steal from the poor an middle-class.

This message has been brought to you by...

DR. EVIL 08'!!!!!!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Check it out

This weeks great Onion article is something that most morons don't know..... In a study, it was found that working at work improves productivity. Interesting isn't it?

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Breaking news!!!

Kid sellig newspapers-"Extra extra!!! Read all about it!!!"
"Monkerstein supports another, No child left behind act!!!"

Its me again, Dr. Evil. Now that I'm in Dr. Zaius's race, lets talk about the top 10 things that would be wrong with Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein if he were "president"...

10. He will still keep humans and monkeys segregated.

9. He will hire Rush Limbaugh as his "advisor".

8. If you don't wear a fez in public you will be sent to prison for 10 years.

7. The whole nation will be required to read the New York Post and watch Fox news instead of working 8 hours a day.

6. He will spread Illinios politics throughout the nation.

5. Mitt Romney will be his best friend.

4. He will ban "The Onion".

3. He will execute Fidel Castro.

2. He would make president Bush look like FDR. That's scary.

1. And lastly...... Joe Liberman will be his vice- president.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

The race

I'm officially in Dr. Zaius's race. Evil for 08'!!!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

One hour left

Dan Rather: Only an hour left to vote. So far Dr. Zaius will be knocked out of the race. Your stupid neighbor, Dr. MVM, and Dr. Evil are tied.

Wait........ Hold on. It's so close that the courts will decide the winner.

Dr. Evil with the judges: Whisper whisper.... You'll get a raise if you say I'm the winner....... Whisper whisper...... Blah blah blah, whisper whisper...........

Judges with decision: Ok folks. Even though it was a tie we decide that Dr. Evil wins the election!!!

New Fascist symbols

As an evil dictator, I say today Nov 1st through Nov 10th is, write like Evil Spock on your blog month.

Also I declare that you have to where a fez like Bubs or Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein whenever you write on your blog.

For doing this you will be "Patriotic." And those refusing to be "Patriotic" will face prison time in the same asylum cell with Grant Miller and endure his craziness.

Just wondering

When I was about four, I remember asking The Elk what his favorite band was and I didn't get who would name their band the who. Sometimes I still wonder why people come up with weird, and interesting band names such as, The Smashing Pumpkins, Green Day, and Breaking Benjamin. wouldn't that interesting to find out? The Smashing Pumpkins probably thought that was just a cool name. Maybe Green Day likes Al Gore. And maybe Benjamin was, "Made in China" and broke when he came to America. Couldn't they just fix Benjamin? They could be called fixing Benjamin, Never Will Be A Green Day, and The Smashed Pumkins.